Your head, heart and wallet

3 questions for clarity.

I paused as the questions sunk in…

Hmmm.

This has always been my dilemma. Different parts of me want different things.

And so you are left feeling torn.

I’d been listening to David Perell speaking on writing. He shared three brilliant questions to help you find clarity on what to write about:

“What does your head want you to write about?

What does your heart want you to write about?

What does your wallet want you to write about?”

“Yes”, I exclaimed, “that captures my misalignment.”

Your heart wants to write something creative, but your head says no, keep it sensible, and your wallet says write what “could” earn you an income.

But the paradox is that when we rigidly push too hard for one thing, we often get left with what we don’t want.

No doubt you’ve felt those pulls in life, maybe in your work:

Your heart says to follow your interests; your head says to get a real job, and your wallet says to choose which pays the most.

You can take so many different directions and for so many different reasons, all of which seem valid.

I remember once hearing David Whyte reflect on something his friend John O’Donohue used to say, which captures that feeling:

“The cowboy ran out of the saloon, jumped on his horse and shot off in all directions at once!”

And that’s exactly what it feels like. We are huffing and puffing, running as fast as we can, trying to move forward on all fronts.

But here’s the catch:

It doesn’t work.

Try walking east and west at the same time. You won’t get very far.

I’m reminded of something I saw from Kieran Drew this week:

“Derek Sivers once said: “Mastery is the best goal because the rich can’t buy it, the impatient can’t rush it, the privileged can’t inherit it, and nobody can steal it. You can only earn it through hard work.”

The internet rewards the obsessed.

You might be tempted to spread thin, but the secret is to find your thing and go all in. There’re disproportionate rewards for those who climb to the top of their space, but almost none for those stuck in the middle.”

To be clear, Kieran is talking about “mastery.” He doesn’t mean quitting your job to go “all-in” on some risky venture… No, he means going all-in on mastering a craft or a topic you dive deep into.

For example, I heard the writer Paul Millerd say how people like Ramit Sethi inspire him.

Why?

Ramit wrote a book called “I Will Teach You To Be Rich” about 15 years ago. But here’s what is interesting: He is still talking about personal finance and helping people build a “rich life” on their terms.

Paul's point was that Ramit has been diving deep for over 15 years, mostly on ONE topic. He hasn’t felt the need to start over in a new field or write another book. The well is deep.

Paul said he had been talking about his topic of the Pathless Path for over five years, and it would be pretty cool if he kept exploring it for another eight years.

You don’t need to do more; you can dive deep into less.

What if you discovered a core idea you don’t get tired of?

For me, it’s The Meaning Path. I recently discovered that I have been writing about meaning and purpose in some form or another for about four years so far. I haven’t grown tired of it. I feel like I am just getting started.

Back to the three questions

Let’s wrap this up by revisiting David Perell’s three questions, but in the context of your life or work:

• What does your heart want to do?

• What does your head want to do?

• What does your wallet want to do?

And here’s the slam dunk:

Can you create a path where you achieve alignment in all three?

What could that look like?

And over what timeline could you achieve it?

Remember, the best things in life aren’t rushed.

So neither should you.

Reflection

• Journal on the three questions — what do your head, heart and wallet each want?

• Can you find some overlap or alignment?

• What is the core idea that you don’t get tired of?