The Paradox Of Relationship
Are some problems good problems?
Do you find yourself frustrated in a particular relationship?
You continually butt heads.
You wind each other up.
You’re drowning in a sea of shared problems.
Before you get too hung up, ask yourself:
What if this is the way relationships are supposed to be? Not a peaceful stream of perfection, but rather a bumpy road of working things out.
This quote from James Hollis caught me in the right moment:
“The paradox of relationship will always be that rather than solve our problems for us, relationship brings us new problems, new complexities, but that we also grow immensely from these problems, these complexities.
In short, the greatest gift of relationship proves to be that as the result of encountering each other, we are obliged to grow larger than we had planned.”
— James Hollis
Interesting:
We look with hope to our relationships, and pray they will magically solve all our problems. But you know better than that. It’s never so simple. The paradox is they actually bring more problems, new problems. It’s complicated.
But there is a caveat:
We grow from encountering these problems. They test and build our character. They provide a sense of meaning in our lives. Ultimately, we end up growing in ways that would not have been possible had we remained tucked away, alone, inside our little hermit shell.
Reflection
How can I bring a fresh mindset to the problems I face in my relationships?
I help you live with more purpose, depth, and possibility — at a slower pace. I send two emails weekly. Join The Meaning Path:
I was caught in an evening sunshower while walking home from work today. It was delightful:
