Comparison Traps: All Is Not What It Seems

There is more to the picture.

Did you know that what you present to the world is only a tiny fraction of what goes on inside your head?

Seems obvious now thinking about it.

People are like a monstrous iceberg floating in the ocean, but you can only see the tiny bit sticking out on top. There is so much more going on below the surface.

But we often miss this fact.

Particularly if you find yourself falling into those dreaded comparison traps that leave you feeling sh*tty.

Instagram is fantastic at triggering that.

“I wish I could get a lucky break.”

“Why can’t I figure things out?”

“I don’t have what they have.”

“Why am I so damn slow?”

“They have it so easy.”

But knowing that people aren’t sharing the full picture can liberate us.

Just recognise that NO ONE is sharing the whole context. It would be impossible to share everything. Or, it could even be all made up!

You probably have a friend who is an over-sharer. Bless them. As much as they love to tell you everything, you know there is a hell of a lot more going on inside their mind. And you wouldn’t want to be caught in that tornado.

This quote from Morgan Housel captures it perfectly:

"Most of what people share is what they want you to see. Skills are advertised, flaws are hidden. Wins are exaggerated, losses are downplayed. Doubt and anxiety are rarely shared on social media. Defeated soldiers and failed CEOs rarely sit for interviews.

Most things are harder than they look and not as fun as they seem because the information we’re exposed to tends to be a highlight reel of what people want you to know about themselves to increase their own chances of success. It’s easiest to convince people that you’re special if they don’t know you well enough to see all the ways you’re not.

When you are keenly aware of your own struggles but blind to others’, it’s easy to assume you’re missing some skill or secret that others have. Sometimes that’s true. More often you’re just blind to how much everyone else is making it up as they go, one challenge at a time.”

— Morgan Housel

Reflection

Where do you find yourself falling into comparison traps? Recognise how they are holding you back. How can you start to move beyond them?

Re-read the quote from Morgan Housel. And again. What is your biggest insight from it?

This line hit home for me:

“Most things are harder than they look and not as fun as they seem.”

I’ve found this to be true as I have navigated some life changes over the last few years. The grass is never as green as it looks from the other side, but somehow, we learn to make peace with that and find our way.

And this one lands:

“When you are keenly aware of your own struggles but blind to others’, it’s easy to assume you’re missing some skill or secret that others have”

Yep. We think we’re lacking the superpowers that everyone was conveniently born with. BS! You have unique superpowers. You just aren’t giving yourself the credit you deserve. And here’s where it gets weirder: Some people look at you that way, wishing they “have what you have” somehow.

So, part of the challenge is just getting with the program:

Everyone is making sh*t up and figuring it out as they go along in a crazy, beautiful human way. And you are, too!

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