Arguing With Reality
Arguing With Reality
The unwinnable fight that costs you.
Have you ever found yourself arguing with reality?
You wish things were different in some way. Maybe you refuse to see the truth. Or your gift of optimism leans a little too far forward. Or you angrily said something you instantly regret. You live in an endless replaying of situations and don’t move forward.
I’ve certainly been there. And if I’m honest, I still find myself there weekly.
Kinda embarrassing afterwards, right?
This quote from Byron Katie struck me:
“When you argue with reality, you lose, but only 100% of the time.”
It harshly whacks you across the face, with a splash of dark humour.
You lose, but only 100% of the time.
Ouch.
But it’s true.
It hurts to reckon with the ways we aren’t facing up to reality. It can be much easier to live in our little dream state inside our heads, pretending all is well and things will work out.
But how long can you go on ignoring the mounting evidence?
At some point, it catches up with you.
And it’s much better that you be the discoverer of this reality slap, rather than it coming consequentially from your boss, your customers, your spouse, or your children.
Or there is something even more insidious.
You may have already discovered a fatal gap, but continue to ignore it.
Yep, we love to play with fire. We love to push our limits to excess, often to our detriment. Why is it that we get so easily sucked into risking the things we love? Maybe we are blinded by that love. Perhaps we are just plain reckless. Or maybe our lives have become so dull that we feel compelled to spice things up! Just don’t bet the house!
And then, when it all comes tumbling down, we are left feeling sorry for ourselves, licking our wounds, and wondering:
How could I have been so stupid?
It’s easy to see our mistakes when the veil has been lifted. But it’s not so easy when you are caught in the thick of it, battling out your day-to-day existence — fighting realities!
How much energy do we waste trying to fight reality?
Is that a worthwhile pursuit?
Now, I don’t mean going all nihilistic and giving up—far from it. Rather, we accept our current circumstances and find some calm in the storm. In this sacred pocket, we return to what makes us feel whole and restore our sense of inner peace. We can reduce so much unnecessary suffering by coming to terms with the situation and changing to a state of resourcefulness, instead of the endless infighting inside our mind. We empower ourselves to flow courageously through the mighty rivers of adversity.
It’s become a bit cliché since the meteoric resurgence of Stoic philosophy in today’s culture, but there is a power in recognising what we can and cannot control:
“We cannot control the external events around us, but we can control our reactions to them.”
– Epictetus
“You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realise this, and you will find strength.”
― Marcus Aurelius
It’s unbelievable how this wisdom is still so relevant almost 2,000 years later.
Accept reality.
Don’t cling to what you cannot control.
Leverage your mind to move forward.
Reflection
Where am I avoiding the truth of my current situation?
If I accepted my current reality, in what ways could that free me up to be more resourceful?
How would it impact my loved ones and peers if I stopped complaining about events outside my control?
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As always, a good walk in nature helps. Here’s me today. Something about the sun peeking through trees inspires possibility.
